Permission is not something one thinks one needs as an adult. That is for kids and those you manage or direct in some way. The boss gives or withholds permission. The rest of us are receivers. Yet, what about permission to tell the truth, as in naming the elephant in the room? What about permission to be myself, without apology of any kind? (Hmmmmm…Permission for Adults as a book title. What do you think?)
Sometimes I can get myself into a knot, thinking I am trapped by some situation, believing I have no options but to suffer. Well, what a great time to explore permission for myself. What permission am I withholding that keeps me in this pickle? Ponder that a while :-)There are times when someone is not giving themselves permission to, for instance, break the circular story telling. Telling it over and over as the reason, I call it an excuse, for not doing any thing that will make things better. So this round and round action can be released when I reveal that permission that seems to be holding them back. (Now, if they refuse to accept it, that is another story.)Met a lady the other day who works long days, 12 or more hours sometimes. She says one secret to her success is that when she feels like having a nap, she has one. When she meets a friend on the street she stops to chat. When she comes in the door, she puts her briefcase down (for later) and hugs her kids. Can you name the ‘permissions’ that help her be so successful?Permission can get lost in the default arena where we assume we don’t have it. Sometimes the opposite but many times this is it, “I don’t have permission to……. “ where the blank is something that appears too bold or too big or too much (shall we say, too fulfilling?). Isn’t this some sad, overtold story about not being good enough?I hereby decree that you are good enough to have even more permission than you can think of 🙂
Written by: Joseph Seiler, MCC Executive Coach, X5 Management
